Marital Counsel

Hindu Husband: My wife calls me kafir…

By Ali Sina

Someone sent me an email asking me to help a Hindu man who is being abused by his Muslim wife. Here is what this man posted at the InterfaithShaadi Website:

InterfaithShaadi @ 4:46 pm

I am in a relationship with a Muslim for almost 18 years. I am a Hindu and she is a Muslim, we have 3 boys. Intially we fell in love with each other, there were no religious boundary but only love. She was dishoned by her family until we had our first boy. She has brought up the kids as Muslims. More and more she is moving into the world of Islam and more and more am I moving away from her. I love my kids but recently she has started wearing a vale. This is hard for me to accept. I am respected by her family but always treated an outcast due to my religion and language. I love her but she has chosen her religion over me. She calls me and my family kafirs. She fleshly believe in birthdays or Hindu weddings. I am hurting so much. Almost half my life has been spent with her and the kids. I used to love her but it is now turning into hatred of the Muslim religion for turning her into what she is. Today my two boys 15 and 5 told me we are Muslims and don’t believe in Hindu’s. What am I to do I am a Hindu? I feel like I want to die. The pain is so great in my chest. I wish I had married a Hindu. My life is a big lie, I lie to my parents about the kids being Hindus and not eating meat. I feel I am sinking and there is no one to pull me out. Every time the word Hindu is mentioned I am called a kafir. Is this what I am at the age of forty? What have I done? I feel worthless and feel I should die before my mum and dad do. My sons or wife will not attend the funeral. I don’t know what to do I feel so sad and d

Comment by Dee — October 5, 2010 @ 4:46 pm

I feel really bad my days and nights are so long my partner views islam higher than me. After all I am a Hindu and a kafir in her eye. I live to support her and my 3 kids. I wish I die, I cannot be happy my immediate family or hers. What is there in life to live for. I suffer from asthma and each tray I hope I will have a big attack and die. I ask myself am I a kafir was I so low. No my mum tells me I am a brahmin. I see my pain and urge all Muslims and Hindu to never get involved in a relation it only ends up in pain. May be not straight away but eventually. You fell like during when this happens. I feel like taking my life but find it hard because of my 3 boys smallest being 10 months. Why is life so hard. All communication has broken down, what is there to look in life apart from death, I can’t wait. I would like to go before my mum and dad so they can cremate me, I can then be free. What a life of lies and misery, don’t put yourself through this. Should I leave her, I feel I can’t due to the kids shoud i die, this is easier please help me

Comment by Dee — October 28, 2010 @ 5:02 pm

Ali Sina's response:

Dear Dee,

Yours is a heartbreaking story. I hope people spread it so those who think of marrying a moderate Muslim can be warned.

I have repeated time and again that there is no such thing as moderate Muslim. We have two kinds of Muslims: Ignorant Muslim and terrorist Muslim. Your wife was an ignorant Muslim when you married her. She learned about her faith and has become a terrorist Muslim. This is the pattern.

Now, terrorist does not necessarily mean suicide bomber. She is abusing you and using your children against you. Through her abuses she tries to do what her fellow terrorist coreligionist do, which is to coerce you to submit to Islam.

Muslims are either terrorists or potential terrorists. The only way for them to get out of this cycle is if they leave Islam. You married a potential terrorist who has evolved into a full-fledged terrorist.

Don’t trust someone who says he or she is a moderate Muslim. Only ex-Muslims can be trusted. To prove they have left Islam they must be ready to spit at the Quran, tear it apart, piss on it and burn it. If they refuse to do that, shun them. They are Muslims in denial. Any ex-Muslim knows that Muhammad was devil incarnate and will not have any loyalty to that criminal.

Someone asked me to give you my advice. I will, but you have to brace yourself because what I am going to tell you is going to hurt.

Leave that woman. Yes, divorce her. She is not worthy to be your wife. She has become demon possessed and will make your life a hell if you stay with her.

What about the children? Fight in the court and try to get their custody, but if you fail, leave them. It is much better for them to grow up with divorced parents than see their father humiliated constantly by their mother. Children take the side of the parent who is dominant. Showing weakness will make them despise you and this affects also their own mental state. They will grow up unable to fit in the society and perform their duties as a husband or father. The abuse will be perpetuated for generations.

Women constantly challenge men and test their strength. They do it subconsciously. They do it to reassure themselves that their man is strong. Women hate weak men. Being nice is perceived as weak. Never be nice with women. This is a terrible mistake.

Have you ever noticed that men who are arrogant and you’d say they are jerk are more successful in dating women than those who are gentleman? This is a fact. Nice is equated as weak. When you are nice to women you lose your respect. They become mean to you and belittle you. What women want to see in men and they can’t put it in words is a strong man who can stand her ground.

The qualities women seek in men are dominance, strength, indifference and confidence. Note that these are not the same as being bully and tyrant. In fact they are the opposite.

A grown up man has strength of character, is dominant and in control of situations. He is confident and is not affected by what other says about him. He does not seek approval of others and least of women. A tyrant or a bully is a weak person who masks his insecurity with anger and abuse of others.

Women are attracted to men, not to boys. A boy does not become a man just by getting older. There are childish behaviors that are turn off to women. Being a bully and a tyrant are two of them. Being a whiner, a wuss and a victim are also childish behaviors that women find unattractive. What is wuss? This is slang word. Dictionary.com defines is as a weakling; a wimp.

You are losing respect in your home because you are acting like a victims and a wuss. Your wife notices your weakness. She is disappointed of you for being a wuss. She reacts by being more abusive of you.

I was once in a third world country and I witness something that bewildered me. A little boy ran in the street and the driver of a car that was about to hit him frantically slammed on the breaks and brought the car to stop inches before hitting the boy. The uneducated mother of the child panicked. One could see she was terrified. But her reaction startled me. She grabbed the child and started beating him.

I thought about it. Why instead of hugging and comforting the frightened child she would beat him? I concluded that the episode was so stressful for her that she had to release it on her child. This does not make sense, but this is how primitive human psychology works.

Even animal psychology works in the same way. I saw a documentary about two cheetah brothers. They hunted together and depended on one another for their sustenance. One of them got into fight with a lion and was badly injured. When he finally made it to their den, limping and bleeding, the other brother was so distressed to see him in this state that attacked him. He beat his wounded brother viciously.

Your wife is acting in the same way. She is distressed that you are not a strong man she thought she had married. She is belittling you and humiliating you and in this way she is releasing some of her stress.

Stop whining. Stop acting like a victim. Stop these childish behaviors and start acting like a man.

Resume your poise. Summon your strength. Be a man and go to your wife and tell her, calmly and without any anger in your voice that you have had enough of her rudeness and that you demand that she start being obedient to you or you would divorce her.

Print out the following passages from Quran and hadith and read them to her.

4:34, “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. “

Volume 1, Book 6, Number 301:

“Once Allah’s Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) o ‘Id-al-Adha or Al-Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, “O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Apostle ?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.” The women asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in her religion.”

After reading these two passages, tell her that you will either divorce her or will start treating her like a Muslim husband. The choice is up to her.

Also tell her that if she likes to be treated as the Quran and hadith say a woman should be treated you will convert to Islam and not only beat her like a mule every time she is disobedient to you, you will also bring another co-wife to the house and if she frowns or complains you will divorce her on the spot by repeating talaq, trice. Be very serious when speaking to her.

Then call on you sons who are disrespectful to you. Like your wife they are also testing your strength. Tell them from now on they will not be given any new clothing, no new shoes, and no money. The food will be the bare minimum for them to survive, nothing delicious or fancy. But if they want any of these things they must earn it, by being respectful to you.

Of course they won’t believe you. You have acted like a wuss all your life. How they can believe you now? They will laugh and think you are joking. Show them that you are not joking. Don’t give them money anymore. Buy the cheapest food, only enough so they don’t starve. If they complain, tell them they have to earn what they want. If they don’t respect you they won’t get anything.

Tell your wife that if she is not going to shape up, she will have to ship out of your house. Make it clear that you are ready to divorce her. I guarantee that this will make her think twice and her respect of you will grow. That is what she wants – a strong man – even though she is not able to tell you in words. She is using Islam as an excuse. Your wife is not a bright woman. She cannot interpret what is going on in her own subconscious mind. She sees you are wuss. She has lost her respect for you because of your weakness and she is taking on you her stress.

I must remind again that being abusive is not the sign of strength. Bullying and being a tyrant, as Muslim men are, are signs of weakness. You have to maintain your poise and indifference. Speak calmly and with confidence. But be clear that if she wants you to pay for her clothing she must respect you and if that is not possible for her, you are going to divorce her.

I wish I had to tell you don’t sleep with her. But I there is no need to say such thing because she is the one who is not sleeping with you. If she does not respect you, you don’t turn her on sexually. Sexual attraction for men and for women work differentky. Men can have sex with any woman as long as she is pretty. Women are only attracted to men that have manly qualities.

Don’t be crippled by your love for your children. She sees that and she is using it against you. She is controlling you through your love for your children. Be indifferent. This will disarm her. She must realize she has no control over you. Once this happens, you will regain your manhood and she will regain her respect for you. Women want dominant and strong men. You can be ugly, you can be poor, you can be short, fat and old. As long as you are dominant, you will be attractive. Once you lose that and show weakness, you lose your respect and attractiveness.

Once you show dominance and indiference the table is turned. Without being able to use your parental love against you, and seeing herself in need f your money, your wife will suddenly find herself in disadvantage. Now it is you who have the power and are in control. She needs you because she needs your money and to get that she has to respect you. But don’t stop there. Go one step further and tell her as a Muslim woman she must also obey you. As long as she remains a Muslims she must be obedient to you. You will treat her as equal only when she denounces Islam.

If she insists in wearing burqa, don’t discourage her. Tell her in Islam woman are nothing but awrat, a defective thing, the private part that has to be hidden. So it behooves her to cover herself because as a Muslim woman she is an object of shame and you are happy that she is covering herself in order to not bring shame on your.

Use Islam against her. Muslim women must be obedient. They must be submissive. They must cover themselves. They can be beaten. They are deemed to be deficient in intelligence. They should treat them as inferior beings. Play all these against her. Use Islam to destroy her pride. Humiliate her. Don’t discuss anything with her. Don’t treat her like a soul mate or wife. Treat her like a slave. Don’t consult anyhing with her. Do what you please and order her that she must do what you say or you will divorce her.

Reserve a room to yourself and don’t allow anyone in. You are the king of the house and the must learn there are boundaries that they cannot transgress. That nice father and husband must die for the new you to be born.

This is all psychological game. She is playing with you. She is toying with you. Learn the rules of this game and use it against her.

Tell her once she can prove to you that she can be a good Muslima wife, obedient and servile, you may consider converting to Islam, but once you become a Muslim she should be ready to be beaten like deficient in intelligence that she is and she should be ready to accommodate a younger cowife.

Reason works with rational people. Muslims are brainwashed and brain damaged. They are not rational people. They are morons. Don’t try to argue and reason with morons. Treat them like morons and you will get result.

I have been extremely successful in helping Muslims leave Islam. My secret is how I treat them. I humiliate them. I make them look like idiots. I call them zombies, brain dead, stupid. These are not just insults. I intelligently and logically prove them.

Islam is not based on logic but on arrogance, vain glory and pride that act like a protective shell agaist reason. You have to break that shell first. You have to use a combination of reason and humiliation. This is like using carrot and stick. Humiliation weakens their defensive shell and reason encourages them to think. I am successful because I use both. I humiliate Muslims, I deride at them, I belittle them, and simultaneously I provide rational arguments.

People don’t understand this method and they advise me to soften my language. But my success is proof that my method works. When you speak to an academician you adopt a different language than when you talk to a child. When you converse with Muslims you must descent to their level. Muslims are zombies. Treat them as such and you will get the result.

Ask and I will send you a pdf version of the older edition of my book. Read it and order your wife to read it too and respond to it. Tell her that if she can prove me wrong you will convert to Islam and will start beating her. My book will make anyone who reads it leave Islam. I say this with total certainly. I keep receiving emails from Muslims who say they want to debate me. I tell them the condition is that they read my book first. They agree and a few days later they write back and say they read it. I tell them to come on gchat so I ca quiz them to make sure they have read the book. They start arguing that it is childish, and they refuse to take the quiz. Then I never hear from them again. However, those who read the book leave Islam.

It is not possible for a sane person to read my book and remain a Muslim. If you can convince your wife to read it, she will leave Islam. But her arrogance towards you has more to do with your own wussy behavior than with Islam. Islam empowers her to be abusive towards you. This could have happened even if she were a Hindu. Men who are weak lose respect. Men who are nice are perceived as weak. Weak men are not attractive to women. Start being a man and don’t let anyone toy with you. You will become attractive not just to your woman but to everyone.

Good luck.

Image taken from http://yep.it/muhi